So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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