I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
