By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
