dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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