i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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