Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
