Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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