You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
