All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize