I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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