I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
