How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
