my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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