Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
