There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
