i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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