Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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