So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Green mimosas i think yes
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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