i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
try to milk me bitch
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