There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize