I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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