what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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