Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i've created a new STD.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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