So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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