Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
