Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
