we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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