i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize