dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
