and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
