i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
