my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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