so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
