I wannas sexs uuuuu
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
