You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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