Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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