She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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