I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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