piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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