I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
40s are totally the cure
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
