ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have demons in me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
