I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
