soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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