her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
