with your own penis?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
