community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
