it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
as a side note pls kill me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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