THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
