OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
