Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
