But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
