I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
