i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
