I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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