He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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