i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
