ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
