so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
