Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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