i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
