There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You made out with two different species that night
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
