This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize