I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
