i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
