how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
