I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
