hotel room ftw
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
