Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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