So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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