I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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