I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize