I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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