it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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