names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
