Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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