and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
